Wedding anniversaries for Elizabeth O’Connor Cole և and her husband Michael usually include a dinner reservation for two at a fancy restaurant. Not this time.
When the epidemic broke out last May, a mother of four in Chicago discovered a boxed wedding dress 19 years ago, got it with the help of one of her daughters, and surprised her.
Cole recreated their to-do list: shrimp appetizer, beef tenderloin, took out his wedding fat, silver, and entertained his other children with their first DJ dance song, “Finally,” for a romantic twist around the living room. And the priest who married them offered a special blessing to Zoom with friends and family.
“Spontaneous և a little mess,” said O’Connor Cole. “Still, it was our most meaningful, fun birthday.”
As the epidemic enters its second year, a longing for the past approaches, especially when it comes to life. When the crisis is finally resolved, will our new ways of celebrating births, deaths, weddings, and anniversaries have a negative impact? Or will the fresh emotions born of the epidemic be transient?
Some predict that their epidemic celebrations will create a new trend. Others still mourn like their own traditions.
Signs, rituals, and traditions help set the pace of our lives, from anniversaries like birthdays to birthdays and deaths, to more casual events like opening day (choose your sport ), drink after work with colleagues առաջին first summer swim.
Enn Jennifer Talarico, a professor of psychology at Lafayette College in Pennsylvania who studies memory և personal experience, says that some events shape life differently և changed in the same way during an epidemic. He says they are most devastated by the deaths and deaths of those sitting in bed to mourn, as the coronavirus has killed more than 2.3 million people worldwide.
“It feels the hardest because it’s the hardest to replace,” says Talarico. “It will probably have the longest impact.”
Renee Fry knows the feeling well. His grandmother, Regina Connell, died on December 6, COVID-19, in his nursing home in Holladsburg, Pennsylvania. He had just turned 98 years old. Not everything was falling to be near his bed. There was no big church celebration of his life, followed by dinner for everyone.
“We had to rely on video conferencing,” says Fry.
But they did something else. He and his sister, Julie Fry, co-produced a “memory book” to share with friends from distant family. These included Regina’s favorite prayer, “Welcome to Mary,” and asked loved ones to read it on her behalf. For years, they complemented photos with photos ranging from young Regina in a delicate red dress (lipstick to a matching gold necklace) to more casual shots with her grandchildren.
The René sisters, in Queens, Massachusetts, have written the story of how Regina met her husband on a blind date and then lost him when he died in 2010 after a 64-year marriage. They wrote about how he spent most of his teenage years caring for his two brothers, when their mother died suddenly when he was 13 years old.
Judging by the answer. The second cousin called to thank her, եջ Regina’s guardian wrote a two-page letter in which she also thanked him, it had an impact. “It made a lot of sense,” said Renee.
Such a booklet will be created when the family is faced with death again. Fry says the epidemic has proven that distance no longer denies the stable meaning.
Daryl Van Tonger, an associate professor of psychology at Hope College in Michigan, studies the meaning of life, religion, and virtues. Rays, symbols և landmarks help provide structure to our worlds, he says, delimiting time or significant achievement, but more importantly, giving meaning to life itself.
“One of the things that these resorts and these rituals do is connect us to other people, things that are bigger than us,” he says.
Sometimes staying away from the wave of celebrations is just as important as the events themselves. Students who missed out on stage in their final years remain graduates. For 200 small weddings, couples still have the experience of their marriage, having to run away or give up on their wedding dreams.
Although some predict Roaring’s revival in the 1920s, when the crisis is over, “there will be a number of people who will change,” Van Tongren said. “They will say, ‘I will come out of this epidemic with a new set of values, I will live my life according to new priorities.’
Last year, Shivaune Field celebrated its 40th anniversary on January 11 with a group of friends at a restaurant in downtown Los Angeles, where he lives. Just weeks ago, the coronavirus made its way to the United States. This year, when he turned 41, a Pepperdine University business professor just went to the beach with his friends.
“It felt so much more valid, a better way to connect without all the bells and whistles,” he says. “I think it’s nice to be back. It reminds me of childhood. ”
Fields grew up in Melbourne, Australia, where he says his parents spent his birthdays on family outings to the beach or on a bicycle, followed by an ice cream party.
“Weekend parties are now more like sneakers, where dogs are sitting on the grass, on picnic mats, rather than on luxury restaurant chairs,” he says. And the field is just fine with that.
The marking time changed during the epidemic. There are several months in a row based on hair salon directions and beard lengths. There is Zoom creativity և social distance campaigns outside. It was difficult to turn the celebrations of the past into big, time-honored events, as time was dim and security restrictions prevailed.
“We have all this cultural baggage, in a good way, around these events,” says Talarico. “It’s a cycle of events that we expect to be memorable.”
It is difficult to reach a memorable one. But reinterpretation is possible for many, and the consequences can be reversed once the virus is extinguished.
“For those who want to recall years of major events during the epidemic, there will probably be nostalgia mixed with more than just trauma,” said Wilfred van Gorp, a former president of the American Academy of Clinical Neuropsychology.
“It may remind us of the loneliness of the epidemic – the isolation, the fear of catching the virus, the fear of dying, the fear of losing loved ones – the loss of anyone we knew who might have died from COVID-19,” he said. “And,” he adds, “we missed memories of what we did not have, experiences we could not share together.”
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